If only someone had told me that everything I really need to know I learned in kindergarden (LIT-rally). Like maybe they could have written a self-help book or something of that nature…
This I’m thinking as I sit Indian-style (is that Native-American style, or do they make a habit of this pose in India?) in my office chair, clipping letters out of an old GQ in order to form words and tape them down to a piece of paper in mock-ransom note fashion. My duty this morning is to create an invitation for the soiree my boss will be holding for all of us on his estate out in the country.
( The planning committee for said party consisted of myself and my deskmate, B, and the meeting went something like this:
BOSS: So I’m thinking beer, like, kegs.
B: For how many? Say 100 people? So 2, maybe 3?
BOSS: How about 6. Play it safe.
Me: Are we grilling out, then?
BOSS: No, eff that. Let’s do catering. BBQ. There’s a great place in town.
B: Speakers for music? Like hook up an i-pod or something.
BOSS: Nah, I’m thinking live music. You guys are musicians. You can get up there, right? And get some local band to play, too. Something fun, party music.
B: Uh, ok. I got some ideas.
BOSS: And we’re going to need bathrooms, ’cause there’s no way I want 100 people…
Me: So, Port-a-potties, huh? I’ll look into it.
B: Wow, this is getting serious.
BOSS: Well, yeah, we’ll do it up right. How about a bonfire, too?
Me: Check. So what kind of budget are we looking at for this party?
BOSS: Oh, you know, I don’t really have a basis for something like this. I don’t want it to get out of hand, or anything. I don’t know…. few thousand bucks? What’s it cost to rent a carnival ride? Like one of those Octopus things?)
You get the idea. So I’m cutting and pasting my little art project and simultaneously surfing the web for news, when I come across a story about these awards called the Ig Nobels. Apparently these are awarded by nobel laureates to those who’ve made ultimate nerd-dom their life’s work. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26996167/?GT1=43001)
While some piqued my interest for sheer bizarre-ness, one in particular struck me as – well, let’s put it this way: most of these studies, while totally strange, at least brought to light new rules of our universe (like, for example, we now know that Diet Coke is an effective spermicide…. why do I see this as dangerous information in the wrong hands?).
But check out the following winners, a couple of scientists from California: Physics: Dorian Raymer and Douglas Smith for proving that heaps of string or hair will inevitably tangle.
Well, bloody. hell.
Except every girl who’s ever had hair longer than six inches whose boyfriend takes sick fascination in molding, with little or no effort, these locks into a birds nest of impenetrable proportions. Had I known that writing down this well-known universal law of nature could win me a Nobel…..
Well, shite, I might’ve said something;)